How to be more confident

11th January 2018

Unsurprisingly, many of us lack confidence in social situations, such as going to a party, a first date or starting a new job. We also lack confidence when it comes to understanding and managing our personal finances.

The good news is that this is something you can improve! So, we’ve asked Gill Hasson, author of Mindfulness: Be Mindful and expert in the areas of confidence and self-esteem, to provide us with her top tips to help give your self-esteem a boost.

Confidence in social situations

When it comes to being more confident in social situations the key is to push yourself out of your comfort zone, one step at a time.

Taking a step-by-step approach means you set yourself up for constant successes by achieving small targets along the way. With each step that you achieve, you convince yourself that you can do things because each process strengthens your beliefs about what you are capable of and encourages you to believe that you can do a bit more each time:


Know what your comfort zone is and take a step forward from there

Decide what the first step could be. Suppose, for example, you wanted the confidence to eat out at a restaurant alone. You might decide that a good first step would be to go to a cafe for a coffee for just 15 minutes and take a magazine or paper to read while you’re there. Once you feel comfortable and confident doing that a couple of times, you are more likely to feel ready going to a restaurant on your own.

Keep your mind focused on one step at a time

If a step feels overwhelming or too difficult, break that step down into smaller steps. Set yourself up for constant successes by achieving small targets along the way and you will then see yourself becoming more confident in any one situation.

Tap into your courage

Courage gives you the ability to do something despite doubt and lack of confidence. Rather than fight feelings of fear and doubt, acknowledge and accept them. Tell yourself “I’m feeling scared. I’m not sure about this.” Then push past those thoughts and feelings, and say to yourself “but I can do this!”.


Act ‘as if’

Think how you would behave if you were feeling confident. What would you be saying, doing and thinking? Then act ‘as if ‘you were confident. It doesn’t mean acting as someone and something you’re not - it means acting as someone and something you are aiming to be.

Learn from it

Whatever the situation, always reflect on what went well and what didn’t go so well. Learn from the experience and next time, repeat what worked and change what didn’t.

Confidence about personal finance

When it comes to better understanding and managing our finances, for example choosing insurance, buying a new home and deciding on savings and investments, many of us seek advice from family and friends. That’s a good start but it shouldn’t end there.

Consider speaking to a financial advisor or the likes of Citizen’s Advice too so that you can make the most of your money, feel reassured and ultimately make a difference to your future wellbeing.

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